Is It ROCD or Just a Wrong Relationship? Key Insights

Do you ever feel that the sea of doubts and worries in your mind is affecting your relationship? How many times you have asked such questions yourself? Do I love my partner? Do I love him or her or this is something else? Does my partner dislike me? Does my partner like someone else? Did I do anything bad that spills the mood of my partner? Is there any fault? If such questioning repeatedly appears in your mind and disrupts your mental peace and ultimately the relationship then there is a greater possibility that you are suffering from relationship obsessive-compulsive disorder. Some individuals usually experience such thoughts more than occasionally and face more problems. While some are those who remain unaware of their mental state. But in most cases, such obsessive thoughts lead to compulsive behaviors such as seeking reassurance to make the partner quiet. So when a point comes at which the level of such obsessive thoughts gets elevated then individuals should seek professional help to get rid of relationship OCD. However, if you want to know more about the relationship OCD and the best ways to deal with it then this article is best for you. So let’s dive into this article to know more!

What is ROCD?

ROCD is a form of obsessive-compulsive disorder in which undesired or unwanted intrusive thoughts appear in the minds of individuals regarding their romantic relationships. They spend most of their time taking stress and therefore do not feel pleasure in their relationships. Moreover, they always remain concerned with their partner and always seek reassurance. They perform any compulsive behavior to get relief from their anxiety. However they do not get permanent relief and as soon as they stop their repetitive act, they again start feeling stress or anxiety which in turn results the conflict in their relationships or love bonds.

The Relationship OCD manifests through:

• Intrusive thoughts 
• Compulsions
• Irrationality

What are the types of ROCD?

The following are the most common types of ROCD:

1. Relationship-centered ROCD

In relationship-centred OCD, individuals’ concerns are specifically related to their relationships. Their main focus is on the doubts about their relationship itself. Moreover, they consider or analyze their compatibility and love. 

2. Partner-Centered ROCD

This type of OCD comprises obsessive thoughts which are specifically related to the partner’s worthiness. Moreover, they also compare their current relationships with the past ones.

What are the common signs of Relationship OCD?

The most common signs or symptoms of relationship OCD are as follows:

1. Obsessive thoughts

The repetitive thoughts about relationships such as thinking about the love of their partners. 

2. Compulsive behaviors

The repeated behavior to get rid of anxiety that occurs due to obsessive thoughts including seeking reassurance and evaluating feelings etc.

3. Extreme focus on flaws

In ROCD, individuals consider the imperfections of their partners and also remain worried about them. 

4. Past experiences

If you have experienced the same obsessive thoughts and doubts in previous relationships then there is a greater probability that you will suffer the same.

5. Daily life interference

In ROCD, doubts make it difficult for individuals to function in daily life.

Is it ROCD or the wrong relationship?

The occurrence of multiple doubts and concerns is an indication of ROCD or a wrong relationship. But still, there are some major differences between them which can be identified by multiple factors. If you are not sure whether you are suffering from ROCD or a victim of a wrong relationship then with the help of the following signs, you can identify the actual condition. The following are some common wrong relationship signs:

1. Lack of Mutual Respect 

Respect is the main element of each relationship. If you are in the wrong relationship then your partner will constantly criticize you and will not give you respect. Moreover, your partner can make fun of you and never bother your feelings or emotions. 

2. Emotional instability 

If you are in a healthy and positive relationship then your partner will always provide you the emotional support. However, if you are part of any wrong relationship then you will never get any encouragement or emotional support. You will have to deal with your stress alone. 

3. Manipulating or Controlling behavior

If you are in the wrong relationship then your partner will always try to control you, your feelings and emotions. Instead of spending time with you, they prefer to stay alone and spend time with others. Moreover, when they are going to make any important decision in life they do not accept or value the opinion of their partner.

4. Unhealthy communication

Better communication is a key to a successful relationship. However, in a wrong relationship, the communication with partners leads to arguments and you feel that you are not getting heard.

5. Dependency issues

Depending on your partner is quite normal but if you feel extra dependency then it means that you are not in a good relationship. You feel that alone you can not do anything and only spend a happy life with the support of your partner. 

6. Abuse

An abusive relationship is not acceptable in any case. If you are in the wrong relationship then you can experience the following types of abuse:

• Physical abuse
• Emotional abuse 
• Domestic abuse 

ROCD vs Wrong Relationship

Doubts are common in each relationship but their persistent state is not good for both partners and is considered the most challenging phase of any relationship. Different thoughts appear in the mind that urges them to doubt their relationship even without any obvious reason. Moreover, even when they are happy and calm, they start questioning their feelings, emotions and relationships. Some thoughts make the situation more difficult for them as when they think that are they really in love or it is just a messy thought in their mind. Therefore individuals perform compulsive behaviors to reduce their stress levels caused by their doubts about their romantic relationships. Due to the relationship OCD, individuals face multiple issues as they do not effectively communicate with each other and experience conflict in their thoughts which severely affects the relationship bonds.

However, the presence of such intrusive thoughts does not confirm that the person is dealing with relationship OCD. It depends on the intensity of relationship anxiety caused by such obsessive thoughts and their negative impact on the relationships. The thing that matters that how these obsessive thoughts take control of the positive and healthy relationships. 

How to identify ROCD?

There are major symptoms that can indicate the presence of relationship OCD. Among them, seeking reassurance is the major one that is done on a repetitive basis. There are multiple situations in which affected individuals think differently than those who are not grappling with relationship OCD. If your partner sings a song that you don’t like then you will respond in two different ways. You might start thinking that your partner is intentionally doing this. While in another case, you avoid thinking anything wrong and simply ignore it by thinking that every person has an individual music taste.

Furthermore, in most cases, individuals start considering different other aspects of a single situation. They feel that their partner is having bad taste so they should choose another person who is having good taste. In addition, if you still feel unsure about your obsessive thoughts then, in that case, you call different and ask for their individual opinion. The situation gets worse when you start to google that song or tune. You find out what people think about that certain song and what kind of people are fans of such music.  

Seeking reassurance is quite normal to some extent. However, in relationship OCD, affected individuals start asking questions from their partner like ‘’ Do you love me”. “Do you feel anything bad about me”. Are you loyal to me? Will you deceive me? Such individuals spend three hours thinking about their partners and whether they are with the right person or not. After that, they perform different types of compulsions such as checking the phones of their partners. 

ROCD vs. Normal relationship doubts

Relationship OCD is the stage that crosses the limits of normal relationship doubts. The ROCD department doesn’t leave the person alone and remains with them for hours and even days. As individuals spend the most time in their intrusive thoughts, they feel drained of energy and prefer to stay alone instead of communicating with partners. Moreover, individuals don’t feel pleasure until they get the answers to their questions or concerns. They ask the same questions from their partner a million times until they are satisfied.

The major factor that makes the difference between the relationship between OCD and relationship doubts is the extent of stress and anxiety. Relationship doubts comprise reduced levels of anxiety as compared to the prolonged phase of anxiety with a higher extent in relationship OCD. 

Major Differences between ROCD and Relationships problems

What are the major challenges of ROCD?

Although ROCD exists, genuine relationship concerns should never be ignored. It is quite challenging to determine the difference between them due to the following reasons:

1. Emotional intensity

Emotions and their unexpected surge in intensity are common in relationships. Moreover, the emotional intensity also varies in both ROCD and genuine relationship doubts therefore it becomes difficult to differentiate them.

2. Symptom overlapping

Most of the symptoms of ROCD and genuine relationship doubts usually overlap including doubts, anxiousness and insecurities. 

3. Internal struggles

Individuals dealing with relationship OCD do not accept the reality that their obsessive thoughts are due to their mental conditions. This thing usually complicates the situation more.

4. Normalcy of doubts

Although doubts are common in both ROCD, individuals face difficulty in differentiating between them. 

5. Confirmation doubts 

Only ROCD patients focus on each aspect of the relationship due to their repeated doubts. This bias in confirmation also presents the difficulty in making the clear difference whether their thoughts are due to ROCD or just normal relationship concerns.

6. Reduced awareness

Most of the individuals remain unaware of their ROCD symptoms. Therefore they experience more difficulties if they do not get the treatment on time. 

What is the treatment for ROCD?

If you suspect that you have ROCD then with the help of the following coping strategies, you can manage your ROCD symptoms.

1. Cognitive behavioral therapy

Cognitive behavioral therapy is the best way to overcome the intrusive thoughts that are common in relationship OCD. With the help of this psychotherapy, individuals learn to identify the ROCD triggers. Individuals learn that their thoughts are obsessive and their beliefs and values are genuine. Professional experts also help individuals to differentiate between the anxious thoughts driven by the ROCD and actual relationship issues. Moreover, cognitive experts also guide them on how to adopt coping strategies to prevent relationship OCD. 

2. Exposure and Response Prevention Therapy 

Exposure and response prevention therapy is a type of cognitive behavioural therapy that is also used to treat ROCD. With the help of this therapy, individuals learn to avoid their intrusive thoughts that act as triggers of obsessions. In therapy sessions, experts first ask the individuals to identify their thoughts and situations that stimulate the obsessions. Then they ask them to prevent the compulsive behaviors and stop taking stress.

3. Acceptance and Commitment therapy

Acceptance and commitment therapy are also used for the treatment of relationship OCD. Individuals learn to accept their intrusive thoughts instead of taking stress over them. Moreover, they only focus on finding the strategies that are useful for avoiding obsessions and compulsions and living a stress-free life. 

What are the other ways to deal with Relationship OCD?

Some exercises can help individuals get rid of relationship OCD such as:

1. Writing

Take a paper and express your emotions in the form of words. Do not ask for reassurance and write that ‘’ We might look at each other one day ’’ or write ‘’ We are not made for each other’’. Do not just ask your partner but also avoid searching for things on online platforms. Do not compare your relationship with others. 

2. Stop responding to your ROCD thoughts 

One of the major mistakes that people usually make is to show a response to their ROCD thoughts. As more you think about them, the more you will develop into a stressful situation. Therefore, it’s better to stop responding to your ROCD obsessive thoughts and simply ignore them to attain peace of mind. 

3. Avoid the compulsive behaviors

If you show any behavior multiple times then that urge increases with time. However, if you stop that specific behavior then you will be less likely to get affected by the relationship OCD. 

4. Spend quality time with your partner 

If you spend quality time with your partner then you will be more understanding and less judgemental, negative or critical. By spending quality time, you will enjoy the present moments and get closer to your partner.

5. Show your gratitude daily

Make a habit of listing down the three things that you like the most in your relationship or loved one. By repeating this habit daily, you will train your mind to focus more on positive aspects instead of the negative ones. 

6. Start journaling

Individuals suffering from the relationship OCD have a mess of thoughts in their minds. Due to this, they feel difficulty focusing on other thoughts and face issues in different phases of life. To resolve this issue, you should start journaling which involves writing everything on a paper that comes to mind. With this daily habit, you will get familiar with thoughts that you have to avoid and thoughts you have to choose to proceed in your mind. 

If you start avoiding the compulsions then you will see the gradual changes with time. You will become resistant to doing any compulsive behavior repeatedly.  

Overcome your Relationship OCD with Professional help

If you ever feel that you are tangled in your thoughts and your recurrent thoughts and worries are interfering in your relationship then reach out to us for professional help. At Advanced Health Preference Group, you can find the best mental health treatment and support for Relationship OCD and other common mental health issues. We have a huge team of mental health professionals who are well-versed in each aspect of mental health treatment. They provide tailored solutions that meet the needs of each individual. So stop getting overwhelmed with your relationship issues that are caused by the ROCD as you are at the best place. Take a step ahead and schedule a consultation with our experts to treat your mental illness. Get rid of the ROCD and start your journey of mental stability now.

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FAQs

• Q: Do I have ROCD or am I not in love?
  A: If you are continuously thinking about different aspects of your relationship even in the absence of your partner then you might be suffering from the ROCD.
• Q: What is the difference between relationship doubts and OCD?
  A: Each relationship involves some normal doubts. However, in ROCD, there are more often intrusive thoughts that result in heightened anxiety levels. 
• Q: Is ROCD real?
  A: Yes. Relationship OCD is a real mental illness that involves the repeated occurence of intrusive thoughts and excessive doubts about the relationship bonds. 
• Q: What are the examples of relationship intrusive thoughts?
  A: The most common examples of relationship intrusive thoughts include extra doubts about love, comparisons with others, seeking reassurance testing relationships etc.